One of my resolutions for 2012 is to be more personally active with blog post while showing a bit of my personality as well (hope you’re ready). I have a tendency to be a bit passionate when it comes to hideous trends therefore this post is not for everyone (sensitive ones/violators).
****Disclaimer #1: If you are a violator of any of these unfortunate “winning” trends put the remote control down and back away from the “wives”. There is still time for an intervention and a new year means new beginnings! I love you ALL and know that it’s JUST my opinion and desire to help. May the following style insults R.I.P (doves released).****
1. Color Contact Lenses: You can’t put these in and take yourself seriously at the same time. Do I really need to expound upon the reasons why this is a MUST NOT? A picture is worth……..yeah. I’ll move on.
2. The Macrame Beaded Bracelets: The simple fact that I can google “hip hop beaded bracelets” and these pop up in large abundance speaks volumes. I absolutely adore beaded bracelets. I wear anywhere from 2-7 each day, BUT they all have significance and meaning. They either contain a good luck charms (evil eye of protection, hand of God, wishbone, etc.), or are made of gemstones (tourmaline, malachite, quartz, etc.) that embody positive meaning. I’m not sure of what the meaning behind the “hip hop” bracelet is but i’m sure it’s profound. Until I find out, it shall remain at the top of this list.
Moss Agate: Represents balance
Rose Quartz: Represents Love
Tigers Eye: Represents luck, protection, and healing
3. Lace Front Wigs: From singers, to reality stars, to the West End Mall of Atlanta. This was a beautiful thing when it surfaced and I have two in my closet as well (bought in 2008). I use them exclusively during Halloween and costume parties now. If you enjoy strong chemical smells of glue on your forehead and edges along with the constant worry that a strong wind or confrontation may expose your wig cap or Allen Iverson braids, then do move on to number 4 expeditiously. This one does not apply to you.
This is just wrong and probably illegal, BUT a great application technique.
I like them this much (opens arms)
4. These Earrings: I don’t know what they are called exactly, but I’ve seen them on various flea market tables and reality “star” lobes. Aside from appearing common with extra long ear lobes and a hamster wheel above your shoulders……I simply don’t see the appeal. They just make me want a Pina Colada and vacation somewhere sunny.
So many variations to choose from!
These can go too.
4 1/2. A combination of 3-4 violations at once (we can’t see the shoes but i’ll assume…)
5. These Pumps: I don’t know if they have a real name. I do know we should let them rest in peace. I love sparkly things, and adore foot candy but this is all kinds of wrong. I also think my neighbor sells them out of his condo/trunk/boutique as a side trade. When questioned about their authenticity, he said they were ordered in Vegas at Magic (the trade show) and they’re “legit”. Yes, i’m sure they are.
6. Shatter Nail Polish: This trend was introduced with OPI’s Katy Perry collection earlier in 2011. Since its debut you could find it everywhere from elementary schools to Old National Boulevard. I think the idea was great, it was unique (when the first 100 trillion people did it), but now it’s just BASIC. Anytime you’re told by a salesperson, “It sells out every week.” Move on to something less “popular”.
This WAS cute…… 1 trillion bottles ago.
7. The accent nail: I just realized that I could devote an entire post to nail trends that need retirement homes, but since I started this topic I’ll see it through. Soooooo, this trend has been around for a few years now. According to the statue of fashion limitations on foolishness this is probably illegal in several states. I must say I NEVER considered this one simply because my heart didn’t beat in this direction……. AT ALL. I think it’s cute on 12 year olds and poodles, but it has run it’s course. There are many other creative nail designs and ideas that could easily replace this very basic (Oooops, I accidentally painted one finger another color) one. Let’s move on. I did find several beautiful accents for those of you who simply can’t stop this cold turkey.
This is what I consider a less basic accent
Another awesome option which serves as an elegant little accessory as well.
8. Whatever you think is important followed by (.COM). First, let me just say I had to throw this one around a few times simply because I thought it was funny, and I haven’t watched T.V consistently in over a year so I wasn’t aware of its source. I just thought it was clever and fun (for 10 minutes). I now have Netflix (upgraded, don’t judge me) and recently came across Season 1 of Braxton Family Values. It was there that I realized Miss Tamar coined this term. As much as I love her and the fabulous foolishness that she partakes in, I want everyone to again be a bit more creative and do something ELSE. Maybe even try throwing the .org, .net or .tv around until you have weaned yourself off completely. Tamar is a blast so I totally understand why this one stuck. We must letitgo.net.
Stop using my material dot com!
8 1/2. The term LEGGO, Let’s go, LeGo: Please do just that. It’s tired and should be handed back to the kids. And Trey Songz doesn’t even use it anymore.
I’m a toy…..thanks
9. The Cassie cut: Cassie shaved her head in 2009 causing a storm of young girls and “impressionable” celebs to do the same. I think Cassie is absolutely gorgeous and she pulled it off. I don’t think this style is for everyone though. This trend has reached its expiration date and everyone should face forward, then put the Gillette and shaving cream down. It’s not hot…..anymore.
Follow me ladies!
O.k……..Here I come
Hold on a bloody minute…..I’m coming
Shot gun Cassie! Shot Gun!
10. The 4, 5, or 6 button Zoot Suit: Gentlemen, you haven’t escaped that easily. I saved the best advice for last. If you own a suit that has more than 3 buttons, extra wide legs, wide cuffs , an extra long tail, or the tag still attached to the sleeve please turn around and walk/run out of the Men’s Warehouse 3 for 1 sale. Unless your name is Detroit Red, you’re one of the founding fathers of the Harlem Renaissance, or you’re the class of 1942’s Jitterbug champ this is not the move.
FUBU Four Button Suit: Overstock.com $77.99 *****Releasing Crate of White Doves*****
Pack of doves reserved especially for Zoot suite ceremony
The number 10 is said to be the number of completion and closure so I’ll end here. Again, I apologize if this touches home/closet/cabinets for some of you, but it REALLY isn’t that serious. I mean honestly, I’ve considered at least three of the trends above, and even tried one or two…..only to change my mind shortly after feeling like someone had rained on a Gremlin farm.
I’d like to encourage everyone to get out of the passenger’s seat in 2012 be it fashion, personal life, or in business. Set your own trends and lean not towards thy reality T.V personalities understanding. In the words of Tamar Braxton “Get yo Life”.
******This has been a Kris Cole Style Blog Wild Card moment. This is not normal. I promise********
HILLARIOUS and so true!